No photos with this post, but I'll try to get some up in the next few days. Just wanted to "check in" so all of my four readers wouldn't worry. We've had a hectic and crazy couple months and I just haven't had much to share. But the news, such as it is, is this...
In September we discovered I was pregnant... however, I was having a lot of unusual spotting. After having had two miscarriages (a whole other blog post)... I wasn't sure this one was going to be viable. There are a lot of details of those weeks, but I won't bore you with them here. Let's just leave it to say we were in a wild roller coaster ride between joy and concern. At every turn, we would have a moment of confirmation and joy, and then next would bring uncertainty and worry.
In October we discovered my pregnancy was an ectopic (tubular) pregnancy, and we discovered that because it ruptured while we were in Sunriver. It happened somewhere around 2:30 am... and the next several hours are a blur. I was sure that I just had food poisoning, but after about an hour of those type symptoms, I started getting light headed every time I sat up or stood up. I spent quite a bit of time on our bathroom floor, and after passing out in his arms, Jeff talked me into calling my doctor who promptly sent me to the ER. Who knew I had been bleeding internally for four or five hours? It was very scary for both Jeff and I, and for all of Jeff's family who were were vacationing with. They diagnosed my issue pretty quickly and had me in surgery in the blink of an eye. I had lost about a liter of blood and fluid into my abdomen. Apparently it was a closer call than any of us would like to admit. I am told that had we waited much longer, this story would've had an even more unpleasant ending.
I would like to praise God for his intervention, for Jeff being insistent (and persistent) about getting help, for the great folks at St. Charles in Bend, and for our wonderful family who was there to care for us and McKinley as we experienced this whole ordeal.
Of course we are saddened at the loss of our baby. We would love to expand our family, but are leaving that in God's hands. We have no doubt that if His will is for us to have more children, then we will. And if not... well, there will be a lot of disappointment to deal with, but we trust Him and believe His plans are always better than our own.
So that has pretty much consumed our last couple months. Like I said, not much I felt like sharing or posting about. Not sure why I am even posting this now... the few of you who read this blog already know everything that has occurred. I guess this is just another way for me to work through it all.
I should add that we are all doing well. I am healed fully and just trying to get back to "normal"... Jeff is trying to take care of us all and sometimes forgetting to take care of himself... but I am trying my best to do that for him! : ) And of course McKinley is a dream. She is much too little to even know that bad things happen yet, but she was a trooper while mommy and daddy were unavailable to take care of her. In fact, I think she even enjoyed a little break from us!
Happier posts to follow soon... I promise.
Love,
Melissa
6 comments:
Dear Melissa, we love you and we thank our Father for His unfailing love, faithfulness and protection for you during this ordeal. We continue to pray for you all, dad & mom H.
we have continued to pray for our kiddos in Portland. I praise our Father that you have such a wonderful and caring Hamm family in close proximity to give you lots of love and support. We are certainly learning patience and Trust-In-Him lessons on this end of the country. Love to you all
MT Mom
We all love you here too, and after reading are so thankful that you are safe and healthy. I know things could have ended differently, either direction, but God prepared you just for that day and maybe He will allow you a glimpse into his plan soon. Praying for your peace and healing and another Hamm-Mortieau-Hilton baby if it be God's will. I'm always here to listen to your pain, friend.
Love you, friend!
Oh my goodness. Well with tears in my eyes, I am here to tell you that this fifth reader of your blog loves ya and is praying for ya too!!! Thank you for sharing as I had no idea of any of this.
I, too, didn't know any of this was going on...I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing, but am so grateful you are healing! Here is one more family that is praying for you. God has a way of working miraculous peace into these heartaches surrounding our babies - both the lost and the desired ones. Love you so much.
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