Yep. You read it right. I finally panicked. It was a couple of nights ago, and I honestly can't put my finger on any one particular incident that caused it. I had worked an eight hour day (which doesn't happen very often). I had driven home in 5 o'clock rush hour traffic and come home to my sweet husband cleaning the kitchen and getting dinner started, which of course is the best thing in the world. But as I went upstairs to get changed, it just hit me. We're going to have a baby!!! WHAT!?! When did that happen? I mean, are you serious? I know God is all knowing, but does he really think it is a good idea to trust me with such a small, precious and delicate little life? No... he can't be serious. Can he? So I laid down in my bed and I cried. Poor Jeff... probably thought I "fell in" because after about 20 minutes he came looking for me only to find me curled up under the covers with a tear soaked pillow. I can only imagine his thoughts... "What am I going to do with this poor, crazy woman? I never know what I am going to find!" He truly is the sweetest man in the world though... he just let me cry and fuss and reassured me that I will be a good mother, that we'll do it together and that God won't let us mess this kid up too much. And then it was over.
So I wonder... how many more times will that happen before August?
Love,
Melissa
5 comments:
You will be great. The fear just means that you take this role as a mother (doesn't that sound weird) very seriously. When you hold that precious baby in your arms you will know exactly what to do. Trust me. And when you run into questions, call me, my mom thinks I should write a book on how to get babies on a schedule.
Thanks Friend... I'm sure I'l be leaning on you for lots of things!
Melissa, I lost all confidence in the entire medical profession late in the afternoon on Dec 19, 2004 as they willingly (forcefully if you consider the wheel chair ride to the car) let me leave the safe environment of St Vincent's with a precious newborn Gracelyn in my arms. I literally cried the entire way to the car!! Scared to pieces!!
However, the next morning was a diffferent story. I awoke to my precious Gracelyn and my steadfast husband. I knew then that it would be ok. Because...even though I don't know everything, nor do I always do things correct, I was reminded that we are never alone.
God just cuddled the three of us up in his arms and has only budged twice, to make room for two more!!
He'll take care of your growing family just the same!!
Hey Melissa, Thanks for sharing, I miss you and wish I were closer to be there and see you become a mommy! :)
I just finished giving my 'baby' Samuel a haircut. Time flies, I call him my little big boy. :)
Being a Mom is so wonderful I have to pinch myself, and even then I sometimes think I am living a dream. :) I just keep saying thank you God for these gifts, please give me wisdom!
God Bless!
all I have to say is....you turned out pretty well and, believe me, I was clueless - living in Alaska!!!! God wasn't a serious part of our lives back then and we've had no end to the blessings He's showered upon us. Needless to say - the instincts will kick in the minute they hand you that special little girl and He'll take care of the rest!
Besides - Jeff will be right beside you all the way...and you have no end of Sisters, Aunts and Grandmothers in your church family on which to rely. As a last resort you can alway call on me....:)
I love you and you'll be a great Mom...
MT Mom
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