Food for thought...

There has been something on my mind for a week now and I kept thinking I would get to posting, but just haven't until now. I think I have been mulling this over. This post and its topic bring up a lot of things for me, only a few of which I will have space to cover. My hope is that you can follow my thoughts here...

I know very little about this story, only a few details shared with me by my mother last weekend. A few weeks ago, my 19 year old cousin was on his way home from work when he rear ended a family on the freeway. Apparently the flow of traffic changed fairly rapidly and he did not react in time to avoid the accident. He walked away from it with some bruises and some cuts, but was mostly uninjured. The tragedy is, that one of the young children in the other vehicle later died at the hospital. I believe she was three. I find it important to note that my cousin was not under the influence of any intoxicant, nor was he driving recklessly. The investigation concluded that he was not subject to criminal charges. This truly was an accident in all sense of the word... with a heart breaking ending.

My first thoughts are of my cousin... who is a good kid. I think of how this will affect is life. He'll carry this with him as long as he lives. It will affect decisions that he makes later in life. I am told that he his coping fairly well, his family is supporting him, his parents are encouraging him to talk to someone professionally, to express his feelings and work through all that goes with this type of situation. We do not know the rest of the story since we do not know what action, if any, the family will take. Your prayers are coveted for Ryan.

My second thoughts are of that family. My mind cannot fathom losing a child, especially in such a shocking and unexpected way. I cannot imagine the hole that is left, the anger, the confusion, the grief they must feel. Your prayers are coveted for this family.

And that leads me to the crux of this post. My thoughts began to wander back to Ryan. My prayers began to be that this family would have the strength to extend the grace to Ryan that I believe he deserves. After all, what would it accomplish to sue him or his family for all their worth? Would it bring back their child to put another family in the poor house? And that is when it hit me... could I do that? Would I do that? Could I extend that grace to someone had I been in their position? How self-righteous of me to expect something from someone I don't even know, that I am not sure I could do myself. We do not have children, but I have 5 nieces and nephews that I love fiercely. What if? (I can't even complete the sentence). Grief fills my heart just to think of it. I don't know that I have the strength that I pray this family has. And I was convicted by that thought.

I won't linger long on the feeling of fear that I felt, as it all sunk in. Someone lost a child they loved. They didn't know it was coming. They had no way to prepare for it. There are not words to describe how much I love Jeff. I cannot imagine not having him in my life and I truly, truly believe I would crumble if something were to ever happen to him. Now, should the Good Lord bless us with children, I can only imagine that feeling being amplified by thousands. It would be gut wrenching.

So ultimately, this babble is all about Faith and Forgiveness. I realized through all of this, that I have some work to do in both areas. I need to trust our Lord in Heaven with my life and the lives of those I love. And I need to forgive. No, nothing tragic has occurred in my life, but let's face it... how easy is it to be angered by the guy in front of you in traffic who goes so slow, you have to sit through the light twice? And what about the lady in front of you at the grocery store who has 55 items in the 10 items or less lane, and then decides to pay with exact cash so makes everyone wait another 5 minutes while she digs for those last few pennies in her bag? Or what about the remark that your spouse made that probably could have been said a little more sweetly, but wasn't? Or what about that co-worker? You know the one... she can't be bothered to pitch in and help others and goes way out of her way to do as little work as possible, but as soon as she's in a pinch wants you to drop everything and help her out? I think these are opportunities that God provides, so we can learn and demonstrate forgiveness. There is an author out there who said it best (and my brother in law reminded me of this when I was sharing this story with him): "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's (mostly) all small stuff." (I added the mostly).

Please don't misunderstand, I in no way want to trivialize the loss that occurred a few weeks ago for this family. It often takes events like this to put things in perspective for us. My point is, the big things are going to come. We are going to be hurt, we are going to be angry about something we are totally justified in being hurt and angry about. Leave the grief, the sorrow and the anger for those moments, but when the time is right... don't forget the forgiveness. Until then, live each day to the fullest. Tell the people in your life how much you love them. And don't let the small stuff get you down.

Finally, this post would be remiss if I didn't mention one last thing. There was someone else who lost a child. The circumstances were a little different... He sent his Son to earth, and his Son was sacrificed on a cross for all of mankind. He forgave us, all of us, for sins we had not yet committed. Most of you (if not all) that read this blog are believers and know the story of Christ. If you do not... please let me share it with you. He is the ultimate in forgiveness. He will give it to you, you only have to ask. And He can help you forgive someone else. Knowing Christ does not mean that you will be immune to tragedies in life. It does mean that He will help you carry the burden.

Thanks for taking the time, thanks for listening. Please pray for Ryan and his family. Please pray for the other family.